Twitter bots I will never get around to making

  1. Henry Rick James
  2. Preposition of the Day
  3. Jane Austen in Austin [Jane Austen is (-ing verb) at (Austin location)]
  4. TheNewspapersWereRight [(X) was general all over (X)]
  5. Lovecraft Sells Amway
  6. Maltify [(verb) (amount) of malt into (noun)]
  7. AyiyiAI [Uh-oh, the AI just (past tense verb) (the noun) in the (noun)]
  8. Pudding [pudding]
  9. Facial Hair Wars ([historical figure]’s (type of facial hair) vs. [historical figure]’s [type of facial hair)]
  10. AdverbialBrooks [(line from David Brooks corpus), thought David Brooks (adverb)]
  11. Paisley [paisley (X)]
  12. YoMamaPoliceState [your mother is so police state, she (dystopian phrase corpus)]

#LitFicSaves

Inasmuch as Twitter is ephemeral or the very least capricious in how it stores tweets, I am collecting here my #LitFicSaves series. This is, of course, a spoof of the #YASaves Twitter trend. But my intentions are of the gentlest sort. I enjoy both YA fiction and literary fiction. I’m neither a genre snob (except for some lingering traces of habitual-looking-down-my-nose at Romance and Thriller) nor an anti-literary fiction reverse snobbery-ist. I hope to prove both of those claims in the months to come, but, for now, I indulge (and these are listed in reverse order of posting):

Without literary fiction, I would never had that existential crisis at 17. And 22. And 27. And 34. #LitFicSaves

My goal in life is to literally (and I do mean literally) become the ideal reader for modern realism. #LitFicSaves

I am able to narrate the quotidian happenings of my life in second person present tense. #litficsaves

I always know where my deixis is at. #litficsaves

I ended up opening a Roth IRA because I thought it was something much more transgressive and literary. #litficsaves

I started stockpiling canned foods and flare guns after reading The Road #litficsaves

I was contemplating an affair, but then I read every New Yorker short story from the past three decades. #litficsaves

The lethargy brought on by the existential ennui of 20th century novels keeps me from action. #LitFicSaves